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Personal Responsibility Rocks!

5 January 2020

So here we are in early January, the decorations have been taken down, the house tidied up and the last of the mince pies eaten. The festive season is done and dusted and our thoughts turn to the year ahead.

Of course our thoughts also turn to the New Year diet, dry January and all of those resolutions we made a few days ago and now have to decide whether to keep, or not.

Do we lose weight? Ease back on the wine intake? Go jogging in fetching stretchy lycra? Or take up a new hobby perhaps?

What did we say we’d do, under the influence of strong drink, and are now pondering our commitment to in the sober light of reflection?

I’ve only ever made one resolution (some years ago) and I kept it. It’s personal and I’m happy to share it here. It was simply to tell my father that I loved him.

I decided that as an adult it’s easy to drift through life and forget to say meaningful things to special people in our lives. We can so easily take them for granted and stop appreciating them.

My father is a good person and yet not big on hearty emotions and we passed a few years without deeper contact. It’s great to share the kids with him and chat about work and the small things of life. And in doing so is easy to sit on the social surface and not take a dip beneath the waves and swim down to the emotional depths.

So, I planned a visit, made sure he was alone with me over breakfast one day and, without fanfare, told him I loved him.

He looked startled for a moment and then said ‘I love you too.’

A moment to cherish.

As we age into adulthood our mission in life is to grow up again. We have to learn to be thinking, feeling, responsible adults and not be slaves to the negative beliefs we decided upon as children.

We can take personal responsibility for our actions and can be mature grown ups. Takes a while to work it out and we all have our own journey to step through.

I was pleased with my resolution and my resolve to enact it. It’s so easy to make a decision over New Year and then let it lapse, as a busy life gives us a big bag of excuses to fall back on.

I often share my Dad story with clients, when appropriate, as I believe it’s healthy to acknowledge that people can’t read minds. If we don’t tell them, how do they know what we are thinking and feeling?

If we tell them, then we grow up a bit as adults. We access all of our emotional range and use it to our advantage.

I took personal responsibility for myself in terms of being a son to my father. I’m an adult and a son and the two things exist at the same time and are not mutually exclusive at an emotional level.

So, whatever you decide you need to do for your own well-being in 2020, remember that it’s down to you. Making excuses is not a grown up way to go. Making a sensible plan and sticking to it is much more healthy.

We can all take personal responsibility for what is important to us. And perhaps we all have someone special to us who would benefit from some love, or acknowledgement of love.

Maybe not so much in the office perhaps, but we can swap love for appreciation and share that with colleagues who need to hear it.

What are you taking personal responsibility for this year?

Who needs some care and attention from you?

Next week: The Happy Romanian